When You're Gone
by urharmony
Summary: Golden Girl Emma Nelson gets knocked up by resident bad boy, Jay Hogart. Things get out of control though when she miscarries. Jay's the reformed bad boy but Emma has changed into a bad girl, leaving Jay lonely, jealous & desperate to save her.majorJEMMA
1. Bun in the Oven

Golden Girl Emma Nelson gets knocked up by resident bad boy, Jay Hogart. Things get out of control though when she miscarries. Jay's the reformed bad boy but Emma has changed into a bad girl. Can they save another? majorJEMMA

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I wish I did. Season 8 would of been better ;)

Chapter 1:

Emma Nelson walked as fast as she could to her locker. If Jay stopped her now, she'd surely let it slip.

"GP!" he yelled, running into the Degrassi's maindoors and chased her down the hall.

Darcy was walking up it as she waved to the blonde, "Hey Em" she greeted but Emma just walked faster, she could hear Jay getting closer. Darcy gave an odd look but shrugged, she'd run from the trouble maker too.

"Emma!" Jay finally reached her and grabbed her wrist. Emma yanked her arm back, rubbing her wrist.

"Ow, Jay!" she scoffed. Some guys underestimate their own freakin' strength, and brain skills. Stupid boys! She hated them!

Jay recovered the cuteness of her pouting and the hotness of her anger. "Why you running from me, GP? Didn't we have fun the last few weekends?"

He grabbed her hips, pullin gher intno him and Emma tried to breath. She wasn't like this. Emma Nelson wasn'tt a-

"We need to talk." she informed. Her big brown eyes stared up at him until he sighed and shrugged nodding, letting go of her and then leaning on the lockers to hear what she had to say.

"So talk." his husky voice demanded.

Emma shifted uncomfortably and looked around the hall, "Aren't you scared of Alex coming by? Seeing us?" she asked.

Jay raised an eyebrow. Not really. In honesty? Everyone plus him knew Emma was a taker compaired to Alex. Come on. Emma may by the 'geek' but she was a hot one. Who didn't want brain and beauty? Let alone, she knew to have fun. But this whole 'talking' thing was hard to get use to.

Emma scoffed but pushed it past her. "The first night we..." she drifts, trying to fight the right words.

Jay smirked, Emma Nelson even tasted of innocence when they kissed.

"Fucked like bunnies?" he helped out and she hissed, "Popped your cheery? Made you scream my name?" he teased, backing her in a corner under the school stairs, where no one could see them.

"Do you have to be so crued all the time, Jay?" Emma bittered, "Your always acting like a wise ass."

"You use to like my wit. Now I'm wondering if your just using me for my looks." he joked, still smirking. He groaned when she didn't even crack that Emma Nelson grin. He groaned, "Emma? What! For fucking sakes just tell me. It's getting old." he could never figure her out.

Emma let out a shaky breath and finally confessed, "The stick was positive."

Jay stood there and gave her a look saying 'and that means?'. Was that some kinky saying?

Emma's eyes widen. Was he really that dense?! Well they say you can't have charms and a brain...

She pointed to her stomach and said, "I'm eating for two."

His eyebrows frowed.

"Knocked up-Jay!" she shouted then lowered her voice, "I'm pregnant, okay?" she stared at him for a reaction, her eyes getting teary.

"Bun....in the oven?" Jay asked after silence. Emma scoffed, sure he'd get that saying. She nodded and he exhaled a long breath and let out, "Okay then."

"OKAY!!?!?" Emma exclaimed, "Shouldn't you be freaking out? Jay I'm 16, your going on 18. This isn't suppose to happen right now! What are we going to do?"

Jay put both his hands on the back of his neck, pacing back and forth. Frankly, the only thing going on in his head was _fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccck. _

Meanwhile though, someone was standing around the corner on the stairs, and heard everything. Paige Michealchuck. Now everyone was going to know.

She ripped out her cellphone and texted everyone '_Golden girl knocked up by Bad boy. Good luck Em & J'_

A door slammed close and Manny Santo's came storming down Emma's basement stairs and stopped in her tracks on the last few steps seeing Emma on her bed, 10 pregnancy tests all around her, tears streaming down the blondes cheeks.

"Oh god." Manny whispered, "It's true. Snow white is pregnant with the big bad wolfs child." she reached the bottom of the steps and then noticied Jay next to Emma's bed. He looked freaked, eyeing popping out of his sockets.

Emma looked over to Jay. She needed him to tell her what to do. He always had SOMETHING to say to her.

"What do we do now?" she sniffed.

Jay softened. He felt like he did this to her. Hell, he did. And that made it more unbearable.

He swallowed hard and whispered to her, "I don't know."

Manny watched between them closely. Was there hope for these two? ....


	2. Look What You Do To Me

Chapter 2:

TWO MONTHS LATER............

"Then BAM! Baby's born." Manny explained birth to the three horrified boys.

"Does it come with instructions?" Jay asked, as Sean and Spinner cracked up.

"Or batteries included?" Spinner added in, "An off switch button?"

They all laughed together as Manny rolled her eyes to Emma, "Boys." she scoffed.

Jay's smile slowly faded as he caught Emma look down as she sat on the couch. Though she hid it well, he knew she was still upset over all this. He knew a lot about her actually, no matter how much she denied it.

He was about to say something until the front door opened, Spike and Snake coming inside.

"Got some groceries!" Spike announced happily, and smiled brightly as she saw Sean, "Hey Sean! I heard you were back."

"Hey Mrs.S." Sean greeted with a bit of awkwardness. Emma rolled her eyes with Jay.

Spike frowned seeing Jay now, "Jayson." she bittered. To say she wished Emma was with Sean, was an understatement. She swore this would of never happened if she was with Sean. Jay was a real bad boy, Sean was just a misunderstood guy. Sadly though, Spike had been yelled at by Emma, the blonde confirmed she was over him and that Sean was actually getting back together with Ellie. Poor Spike.

"Bye mom." Emma said, annoyed. Spike got the hint and left, Jay and Emma shared a smirk. Jay had to hand it to Spike though, least she said hi. Snake just shot daggers at him and storms off.

One Month LATER.......

Jay got a call from Emma, a text actually saying _NEED 2 TALK. PLEASE. _He got to her house and he opened the door, seeing no one. Not even her.

"Em." he called and as he looked around the house, he let himself think. This was crazy, having this baby. But, he was glad it was with a girl like Emma. And yes, being a father scared the shit out of him...what if he failed the baby? What if it turns out to hate him? Like he with his father. That's where Jay promised himself to spoil this kid and never treat it the way Jay's father treated him before he left. Jay would stay with this baby through good and bad, he'd be a good daddy. This baby deserved it, Emma deserved it... and the baby was going to have a hell of a mother too.

As Jay walked to the basement, he let his mind wonder to Emma. She was getting a bump too, a big one. She was almost 4 months now. Though, she was probably the prettiest fat girl he's ever seen. That's a compliment by the way, Jay chuckled as he started going down the stairs. Emma's been...amazing, so far. She even set him straight. Everyone knows no one scared Jay Hogart, but the pretty blonde with his baby, could do it. He stopped the drugs, and was barely going to parties and working harder at school and work. And when he did go to parties, he barely drank...and he even stayed away from the other girls who tried oh so hard.

Actually, out of the whole pregnency, Jay was only confused about one thing. He and Emma. Were they together? Not? When the school found out about her pregnancy, this led Alex into finding out about the cheating, though Jay told Alex...it was coming. They called it quits, actually Alex almost beat the shit out of him for ruining them. And Emma, well... his only real competetion would be Sean, right? But she swore they've moved on, but... she may have...has Sean really though?

Some nights, Jay even slept over, in her bed, just holding her and watching movies. It was different, good different. I mean ofcourse they weren't hooking up anymore but as corny as it sounded, it felt good just being with her.

Jay was now in her room and there she was. She didn't notice him yet and was infront of a mirror, staring softly at her pump. At their baby.

This was the first time Jay ever seen Emma look at herself like this and be okay with it. Usually she broke into tears and even sometimes, tried hitting him. But now, she was even smiling a little.

Emma smiled even more, feeling Jay's strong hands smooth on her stomach and held it. He rested his chin on her shoulder as they smirked at another in the mirror.

"I think I'm ready." Emma declared and closed her eyes when Jay kissed her neck tenderly. "Your going soft on me, Hogart..."

Jay sent her a playful glare.

Silence.

"Are we keeping it?" she whispered.

Jay replied, "I want to. Do you?"

More silence.

"Yes."


	3. But Everything was so Perfect

Chapter 3:

One Month Later.

4 and a half months pregnant. Emma was smiling more, with a bigger bump. She couldn't wait for their baby, though their waiting for the gender for a surprize. They were even starting to pick out names.

Emma laid in Jay's arms on her bed, holding a book. For a girl, they wanted something innocent, like Emma. For the boy, something strong... kinda like Jay. Emma narrowed her eyes up at him to sneak a glance at Jay with a smirk. He was pretty strong, and shockingly really supportive. No one thought Jay Hogart would stick around to help her nor anyone with his baby. But here he was, and he actually looked happy.

"How about Liam?" Emma asked, scanning through the book again. Jay just held her tighter and kissed her shoulder.

She smiled, trying to playfully ignore it but he kissed her all over.

"Or Sophia Christine Hogart, for a girl?" she biter her lower lip when he kissed up her neck, to her jawline... their breath stopped. Their lips were inches apart.

Jay slowly pulled her chin toward him and they closed their eyes. They haven't actually kissed since the night before she told him she was pregnant. Wouldn't this say they were together now?

Emma and Jay softly kissed, and parted their lips. As they tenderly kissed, sparks flew through them. It kind of shocked them, but they kissed deeper. They've never felt this before...

They pulled away breathless and smiling, "I can feel it kicking against me." Jay informed Emma who laughed.

"Call it the 'I'm sorry for being a loud mouthed bitch' gift." Paige Michealchuck told Emma a few weeks later.

Emma softly smiled at the front door and said, "It's okay Paige, it was bound to get out sooner or later...." she drifted off seeing her gift as Paige stepped aside for her baby shower gift.

A hige crib, with tons of toys in it. Emma happily squeeled, grabbing a bunny toy. It was adorable! It would definatly be her baby's favorite toy! Marco and Hazel helped push it inside and were out of breath.

Emma laughed, "Come on in, there's some drinks and stuff in the TV room." she said.

They followed her in where Manny sat with Liberty and Ellie. Since Ellie and Sean were back together, Ellie and Emma have actually been getting close.

"Hey Em, your like Juno now." Marco joked, sitting down with everyone.

"Ugh!" exclaimed Manny, eating chips, "I hate all her hand gesters."

"I liked that movie." complained Ellie as the doorbell rang again, sending Emma and Manny to get it.

"Darcy?" Emma asked as she opened the door.

The girl stood there looking a bit hesitant until standing straight and cleared her throat. The people inside shared a look and got up to go see what was going on.

"Your making a horrible mistake, Emma." Darcy declared.

Emma's mouth dropped, how dare she tell her this?

Darcy went on, "Look, I have the bible here with me now. Why don't we just-"

Marco cut her off, "What were you going to do? An excorsist?" he snapped.

"She's pregnant, not possessed!" exclaimed Hazel.

Liberty rolled her eyes and said, "Unbelievable."

"Hun, do us a favor by walking your boney ass out of here." Paige warned.

"Yea." snapped Ellie, "Before I kick your ass."

Darcy pierced her lips together, "Fine!" she sneered and stormed off.

"Oh my god." Manny snickered, shaking her head.

Emma blinked, "Did that just happen?" she asked until she heard Marco drooling.

"Who is that? Oh lala." Marco nodded to across the street.

"Chester?" Emma asked, as everyone gawked the boy across the street playing basketball.

"How can you not share new hottie alert, Em?" Hazel joked.

Manny giggled, "Cause she's a little busy drooling over a tripple times hottie." she said and Emma went red, "Jay Hogart, anyone?"

"EMMA!"

"Manny." Emma hissed under her breath.

"Oh come on. You guys don't even hide it anymore. I'm always walking in on you two making out. The last time? In the kitchen! We eat there." Manny points out as everyone laughed and aw'd.

Meanwhile, the guys were talking about the same thing at the DOT. Spinner, Sean and Jay.

"So...can pregnant girls still have sex?" Spinner wondered.

Jay gave him an odd look but shrugged, "I guess..." he drifts off.

"You and Emma...haven't?" Sean asked curiously, which made Jay give him a look too. He knew now Emma has definatly moved on, but has Sean?

"Not that. I mean, we're together but it's too complicated to get into it now. First we're dealing with Emma having my kid." Jay explained.

Behind them, Craig Mannings turned and stared. "Emma's pregnant with YOUR kid? I thought that was some sick joke. Way to ruin her life." he went to storm off.

Spinner and Sean grabbed Jay but Jay got loose and yanked Craig back, sending a fist at his jaw.

Back with Emma, the girls and Marco were all giggling and not even watching the movie they put in. As Emma got up to get some dishes, she felt a little dizzy...and the laughing stopped. Was it just her or was everyone staring at her?

"Em..." whispered Manny, slowly getting up. Marco and Hazel looked at another confused. Ellie's mouth dropped and Liberty covered her mouth.

"Guys, shut up." Paige snapped at Marco and Hazel before they asked questions...

....Emma had blood all over her.

And that's all she remembered.

That and a doctor telling her, "You lost your baby...."

......................................................................................................................................


	4. This Is How A Heart Breaks

Emma couldn't focus on anything, nor hear anything after the doctor had told her she had lost her baby. Was this shock? Was she in shock?

Manny and Ellie were at the corner of the room. Ellie looked torn apart and Manny was crying her eyes out. Emma's parents were like her, in shock. Why? They never wanted her or Jay to have this baby anyways...

And Jay? Well, he showed up at the hospital with a blood lip. Emma was going to ask what it was about but that's when the doctor gave the news. Oh and guess what, it was a girl.

Jay dove out of the room, and was now puking up outside.

Even as the doctor continued talking, Emma couldn't listen. She sadly looked down putting a hand on her stomach. She didn't understand.

Outside in the waiting room was the others.

Even Sean had tears in his eyes. He tried helping Jay out but Jay shoved him away and slammed the exit door open, and all you heard was vomitting.

Jay sat back on the ground, looking up at the dark sky. He felt something in his throat. No? He was sure he was done puking. He almost puked his guts out. What was this? Jay finally choked and and put his head in his hands, crying like a baby.

His little girl was gone.

_E M M A ' S P O I N T OF VIEW._

_You were just a baby girl still growing inside of me. I don't understand. I talked to you this morning. I even played music for you... I told you about the fresh cut grass and blue skies. You kicked._

_I feel my tummy, and I STILL feel you... but they tell me your gone. I would have known though. I would have FELT it._

_But... their showing me test results.... and your not there, baby._

_Maybe you are gone. Why would you leave me? Maybe God knew I wouldn't be a good mother, but what about your Daddy? _

_He's already so in love with you. _

_**2 days LATER**_

_Baby.... are you there?_

**3 WEEKS LATER**

......._I can't feel you anymore......_

NO ONE'S POINT OF VIEW

'SOPHIA CHRISTINE HOGART' read the gravestone, "RIP. Mommy & Daddy's little angel"

Emma sat infront of the stone, crying. Even the sky shed tears.

Arms wrapped around her from behind, Jay, it made Emma cry so much harder and he held her tighter to him.

She shook harder and curled up into his arms.

Jay had been sick for days, having nightmares. The only thing that kept him going was Emma. He had to go see if she was alright. She barely spoke when he drove her back to her house after seeing their baby's grave.

Jay ran a hand over his tired face. He was looking paler. He rang the doorbell of her house and as he waited he noticed something. At the end of the driveway sat a bunch of stuff, and he curiously went to go see what it was.

He gently picked up a yellow blanky and a teddy bear. There was more there. The crib, Sophia's toys, books...a bunch of stuff. Waiting to be picked up like garbage.

The door opened and Jay turned, holding the teddy bear. Emma stood there with her arms crossed. She was back to her normal size though, just curvy and longer hair. She was getting even more beautiful...

Jay glanced back at Sophia's stuff and then back to Emma, "Your just, throwing it out?" he asked.

Emma shrugged, "Why would I need it?"

Jay eyed her and glared, "Your treating it like trash! It's more than that." he bittered.

She snickered bitterly, "You keep it then." she said.

Jay licked his lips. This was frusterating. Emma was broken just days ago. Now she stood here, uncaring and throwing their babies stuff to the streets?

"Let's go get something to eat." Jay confirms. Clearly, Emma wasn't dealing with this the right way.

She replied, "I'm busy."

"With what?" snapped Jay. This was way more important. He then noticed her clothes. She wore a hip hugging black mini skirt and a red corset like tank top. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "You sound like a jealous boyfriend." she came down the steps as another car pulled in. Her nieghbor, Chester.

Jay lost it. She was going on a date?!

"Your not going with him." he growled and Emma just laughed at him, going to the car and opening the side door.

She looked back at him and said, "We're not together, Jay. I can do what I want." With that, she left.

Jay's chest stung. He clenched his fists and looked to where Emma once stood. So this was heart break huh?

He looked back down at the teddy bear in his hand and took it with him as he slowly went back to his civic.


	5. It's Been Awhile

**volleygal905**- Emma saying their not together, was pretty much the break up :P Jay didn't know they had broken up either ahha. just shows you how bad she's turning. Enjoy the next chapter!

badxinfluence- awe thankyou for reading my stories! It's been a up/down year, I haven't been able to update most of them so now that I have more time, I'll start finishing them. Enjoy the new chapt!

NEXT CHAPTER:

That whole summer, Emma has been out of sight and out of mind.

Now that Emma wasn't carrying Jay's child anymore, Snake didn't see why Jay had to be in her life, so refused to let Jay call or come over anymore. Making it hard for Jay to get hold of Emma.

Emma, well, she was just having the time of her life. People have heard rumors, but haven't seen the real thing since she was so hard to find.

It made Jay think about where the hell she was, who she was with. He even knocked down Chester's door when the guy tried slamming it in his face when he came looking for Emma.

The last time he tried looking for her, it was successful... and he found her in the mall with some loser named Lucas Vaughn... a kid even worse then him from Lakehurst. That's when Jay gave up... she was so into Lucas she didn't even see Jay watching them.

But it was back to school when September rolled up...

"Welcome back Hogart." Mrs Kwan greeted, walking by him in the parking lot.

Jay got back into smoking, and it was a bad habit. He ignored her and narrowed his eyes, watching students walk by. The new niners scanning over their new school... your innocent now niners... it'll change. It always does.

"Hey man." came a voice and Jay turned to see Spinner coming over.

Jay looked down but decided to turn to his friend, throwing his cigerette away and nodding in greetment.

"Your smoking that shit again?" Spinner asked, but decided not to push, "How was your summer?"

"Awesome." Jay's voice wreeked of sarcasm, "How was California?"

Spinner shrugged and replied, "Alright." they both noticed people passing, eyeing them... eyeing Jay.

"He was the one with the baby."

"Can't believe it died..."

The two girls pouted with another and kept of walking.

"Dude..." drifted Spinner looking to Jay sympthatically.

Jay was clenching his teeth and shaking his head, "It's fine." he barked, walking off.

It was time to come to terms with it. Sophia was gone....and now, so was Emma. Speaking of, Manny Santo's came right over to him as he sat down in the English class.

"Have you seen Em at all this summer?" she asked him.

Jay glared, he never liked Manny.

Manny got the hint when he gave her the cold shoulder and whistled, "Fine, whatever." she turned and then frowned. This guy's been through a lot. She turned back around and Jay let a breath out.

"What?" he asked.

Manny replied, "You know she's in this class right?"

Jay bit the end of his tounge. Great. Course he was beating doors down weeks ago to see her, but now that he gave up... he wasn't ready to see her.

Manny was about to leave when he called her back. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Emma..." he drifts sadly, "I haven't seen her in two months. Last time she was in a mall with some moron."

She nodded and gave a small smile before leaving.

Jay sat back in his chair and let his mind wonder to Emma again. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear whispered get louder and some whistles heard by guys around him.

Not til someone actually declared, "Damn!"

Jay's eyes slowly moved up from the back of the room and a figure came in, wearing a light blue jean skirt and a tight revealing white tank top... long, tan legs. Emma. Jay stared with his pierced grey eyes. Her hair was still blonde, with some black peek-a-boo streaks. She still had the same smile on, though this one was different from the pure one, this one was kind of... seductive, because of her eyes. They were soft anymore, like chocolate, they had fire and secrets.

She sat near the front row with some stupid boys and girls Jay didn't know. But when she sat down and leaned forward on her desk, Jay noticed she had a tattoo on her lower back. Too far to see though.

"Your fucking kidding me." he said out loud and blinked as some people turned to him.

Even Emma did.

He inhaled deeply as they connected eyes. But she didn't hold her look for long, she swung her body back foward and faced the front.

Emma stared forward the rest of class.

_Shit_.

She forgot he failed a class.

**I know it was short. I'm working on ideas. I don't want to leave you guys hanging :P Got any ideas? **


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